Three Little Birds

the best word to describe today is INTENSE...

To start with, i woke up in pain.. bad pain. i walked to class with a feeling of dread. it didn't get better. in fact it got worse. somehow, i got transported to a hotter than hell desert and i was standing in a huge patch of quicksand. or at least that's what it felt like, because it was all i could do to stand without my legs sinking underneath me. To make matters worse, it's re-certification time, and I happened to be in the back row so I felt like I had 40 visiting teachers boring holes into the back of my head. i was stuck in my head and it was no bueno. I had myself convinced each one of them was thinking "who is this girl in the blue shorts? she looks like a stuffed sausage, her postures are terrible, she'll never be a good teacher, i bet her dialog sucks, blah blah blah..." oh the power of negative thinking. Honestly all that garbage was going through my head in the first breathing exercise, so you can imagine how the rest of my class went. the only thing that stopped me from freaking out about what the visiting teachers were thinking was the sick realization, "Oh SHIT.. it's friday which means tomorrow is saturday and craig's teaching." then my thoughts went a little something like this "I don't know how I'm gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it, that a-hole is gonna hold awkward so f*#*-ing long, and i'm just not gonna be able to do it. Maybe i'll die first, maybe they'll run out of pedialyte and I'll cramp up into the fetal position during half moon and won't have to do the rest of class" ---- imagine 90 minutes of thoughts like that-- oh, i was on a full speed trip to Negative Town and there was no stopping me.

somehow I dragged my stormcloud of a self to brunch. I'm not sure what exactly it was or when it happened, but i found myself hanging out after I had finished eating and just chatting with the people around me. it wasn't even bitter chit chat! I was talking to this woman who had been struggling throughout all of her posture clinics. She was a little on the shy side. I hadn't really spoken to her much before but we clicked for a while, we shared a connection. it was like i knew that the last thing this person needs is negativity, so i sucked it up and acted chipper, and believe it or not I walked away feeling pretty chipper too. I got back to my room, took a shower shaved my legs and get this- i put make up on! because i wanted to, i felt like it. my day only got better too, I went to posture clinic, and even though I didn't even do a posture, I had a great clinic. Everyone is making improvements, having break throughs, and you can't help but get swept up in their excitement. I felt their success while it happened. I walked back to my room with a damn near spring in my step.

and then came time for afternoon class, I was nervous wondering who was gonna be teaching. we got in the elevator at the same time a visiting teacher did and to my surprise, she had a look of dread on her face! she even said she was nervous about class because the morning was so hard. she said all the visitng teachers had died in class and she couldn't believe how humid the room is! she even said she was IMPRESSED by how well adjusted we seemed to be and how great we did!! What?! you mean the teachers weren't distracted by my terrible practice, or my water retention? you mean they were struggling too?! CRAZY! i have to admit, this kinda pumped me up. I walked into class almost psyched. I got in there, and looked around and had a whole new perspective shift. I thought about how cool it was to have all the visitng teachers there, and i realized how incredibly high the energy was. it was electric. It was official, all these bodies, all this good juju, I had to have a great class... and then Craig walked in. He was headed straight to the podium carrying his towel and pedialyte with him..... now here comes the exciting part... remember I spent a good hour this morning absolutely hating him, but today, this afternoon, I thought No Way, He's Not Stealing My Peace. and i didn't let him. I worked my ass off and had a pretty good class if i do say so. I managed to stay in the first set of awkard, all three poses the whole time without falling out. (Huge personal victory) and gave my 110% throughout the rest of the class too. When we went down for the final savasanah i kept thinking, this is it, this is why i'm here. I conquered my own negative thinking. I am strong and I am capable.

(sidenote: i've been doing personal mantras like crazy-- I feel like Stewart Smalley, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it people like me.." wow.)

anyhow, so here's the super cool part of my day, Criag usually does this whole visualization business that reminds me a little of Bob Ross-- way too breathy and too much talk of the "crystal clear ocean and the turquoise glimmering water". i was waiting for him to launch into it and talk about how the waves are having fun while they lap against you, when to my LOVELY surprise i hear background music turn on over the sound of his mic........ Bob Marley. oh yes,

"Don't worry. About a thing.
Cause every little thing
Is gonna be alright"

it was wondrous, it really was. music really gets to me and to have over 300 bodies exhausted, drained, rundown, sweaty, smelly bodies laying in one great room, half naked and chillin singing along to bob marley was unbeliveable. I just thought wow, this is it. apparently the feeling was shared because everyone started clapping in tune and there was a burst of energy that was gelt throughout the room. literally it started in one corner, with one person that let out a "woop! woop!" and it swept across the space like a giant wave. I've never felt anything like it before. one of the most important things i've learned so far is the inconceivable amount of energy inside of someone. what's truy amazing is that how powerful that energy can be when it's combined with someone else's. You really get a sense of the endless possibilites there are when a group is formed. This training has so far been the hardest thing that i have ever done, but already it's easily the most rewarding. I just need to keep telling myself...

Don't worry about a thing,
Cause every little thing gonna be alright.
Singing Don't worry about a thing,
Cause every little thing gonna be alright!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Saying, This is my message to you ou ou

Singing Don't worry bout a thing,
Cause every little thing gonna be alright.
Singing Don't worry bout a thing,
Cause every little thing gonna be alright!!!!!!!