is what i better have after the last couple days!
Week 8 has absolutely flown by. This week has been huge for me as far as my postures and my practice. On monday they had announced that tryouts to demonstrate at graduation would be held and I didn't really think twice about it... well, actually I thougt there's no way I can demo, my practice is only mediocre. Yesterday they decided they would do a preliminary tryout after class with the staff and senior teacher Jason Winn. Then 30 (of the 60 or so) would tryout in front of Bikram. I had an okay class yesterday, but I was headed straight out the door when I got stopped by Sarah who asked me why the hell I was leaving. I immiediately told her there was no way I was going to try out, I can't even get my head to my knee in standing head to knee. She pointed out (thanks sarah) that was not the best attitude to have and reminded me of what Bikram would say "you have nothing to lose because you had nothing to start with". After hemming and hawing over it i turned back around and decided to swallow my pride and tryout. Despite the fact that it was completely horrific-- i was in the second group and i kept looking around thinking, all these people are way better than me. Jason told the first group that anyone that couldn't do full standing head to knee was out and I was tempted to get up right there but I figured I was already there, might as well give it a try... when my group was up to go, Bikram was just walking through and decided that i needed an adjustment on my half moon. lucky me, all of a sudden i felt two hard jerks on my body, a couple cracks and "oh F&*?!" come out of my mouth. nice way to start off a tryout. somehow, i survived yesterday though, and was asked to come back today to tryout. (don't get too excited- i didn't make it today) but anyhow, i woke up feeling horribly stiff. I swallowed two alieve and had a pretty decent morning class, but I still couldn't get my damn head to my knee without falling. I had never done it before and I could feel a sense of dread building up inside of me. I kept worrying bikram was going to yell at me for wasting his time. We had our tryouts at noon and by the time we got up there I was sweating bullets and probably shaking like a leaf. We started our demonstration, backbend, forward bend, dun dun dun... then came Standing head to knee... I don't know if it was just because Boss was there watching or what but I actually did it!!! and I didn't fall out!! I came back out with the group in total unisen! I was so happy. And then came bow, which I usually love, and I fell out. and then we did the sequence again. .. and again i was able to get my head to my knee without falling, but i think i was so shocked i had done it, i couldn't concentrate on anything because i fell out of standing bow again. To my relief, Bikram didn't yell at me though, instead he nicely said, "You in the red top, black shorts, Thank you. You may sit down" I looked up at him and the funny thing was I had a grin on my face. I didn't care about bow, I had a personal victory and that was good enough for me. To be completely honest, I was actually relieved. I am more confident in my practice than I was, but I still know that I have a long way to go, and I'm looking forward to enjoying the last week instead of fretting about whether or not I fall during a demo.
I went into afternoon class still feeling pretty good because I kept thinking, wow, I made it that far, I got to tryout in front of Bikram, that's a big deal. I had a great class too. I went farther into half moon than i ever have before. I was in awkward thinking geeze, my legs don't even hurt and they should be killing me right now. My knees had no problem locking out in the other postures and I kept thinking, what's going on? This is great!!! and then i realized in addition to the two alieve i took this morning, i popped three before the tryout... which basically meant that the reason why I was going so deep in class was because I couldn't feel the pain that was for sure there. Not cool, that means, I'm going to be hurting tomorrow. BUt I can deal with that.
Tonight is the talent show, and the staff surprised us with pizzas before so I'm going to head out. Pictures to follow soon of odds and ends. much love to everyone, and I'll be home soon!! :)